When I say dark, I mean completely black. All of my flight instruments went completely blank. All of the lights in the cockpit went out and for a moment I had zero idea of whether or not the engines were even running.

My excitement increased as I walked out to the jet that day knowing what was at stake. Time seemed to go into fast forward and before I knew it we were airborne flying around the landing pattern.

Rarely in this world have I met someone that lifts others up as much as Gazer did. While he left this world far too early, he was the kind of person who lived every day to its fullest.

Honestly, I had let my guard down. Did someone invite Mr. Murphy (of Murphy’s Law) to this carrier qualification detachment?

Before I knew it, we were 800’ above the ocean lined up behind the ship, and I was flying the E-2C Hawkeye as fast as I could get it. We were the last plane to land and all eyes were on us.

He smiled and told me he had a full life and with his days numbered he had only one regret. Before I could even decide if I wanted to ask him what it was, he offered it to me, “I never failed at anything”

I know, as I open the front door that no matter what happens today, I have already pushed myself and proven to myself that I am still alive.

“Excuse me, I have been listening to you for the last hour and I am sorry for your loss, but I have a question. After something so tragic, do the rest of you go back to flying, or do you quit and move onto other phases of your life and other jobs?”

How logging 12 minutes of flight time can take years off of your life.

So, as I sat alone in the forward wardroom realizing that I somehow survived and for the life of me couldn’t figure out how I was going to survive the next time I had to fly, someone entered the room and snapped me out of my haze.

Once you have the ability to truly understand how powerful of a muscle the heart is then you can use it to overcome the sometimes-daily battle that occurs in every one of us between the brain and the body.

As the tail hook grabbed the number three wire, aircraft 601 immediately started a deceleration that brought everything to a complete stop in less than 200 feet.

Coming back from war-torn lands to a place you used to call home is not easy, and it is often difficult to find others who understand what you are feeling, but today is different.